he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
