Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How does it feel to date your dad?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
