I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize