Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
