everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
