Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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