yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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