I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
