Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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