Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
