why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
