So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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