I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The police scanner is talking about you again....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
