im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
