Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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