OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
