After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish you could order shots online.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
