the day after is always just damage control
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
