I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
