I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
