She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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