I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
