i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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