trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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