I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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