You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
