I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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