the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
