He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
