Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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