im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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