we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
