Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
