I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
we're so committed to being not committed
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
