And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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