Please, let me fuck your mom
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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