Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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