Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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