Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
