i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Jerry, you need to find god
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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