Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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