Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
