I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
