I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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