they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
