I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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