hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize