I just threw up on my dentist
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
