honey bunches of taint.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
