Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Nicole vs. Life
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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