you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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