what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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