It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Randomize
