i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I want a musical about memes.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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