I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
