I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
