Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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