she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
