Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
