You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
