my vag is so smooth its legendary
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize