I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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